25 Things I Never Want To Do If Sent Back In Time

1. Meet Genghis Khan.
2. Meet Vlad the Impaler.
3. Send a time-release letter to my friends explaining my absence.
4. Become my own great-great-grandfather.
5. Accidentally kill my great-great-grandfather.
6. Have to live without an iPod.
7. Die before I was born (like PDQ Bach).
8. Get burned at the stake.
9. Lose my glasses.
10. Get made fun of for being too tall (Kind of like Abe Lincoln. Maybe he's a time traveler too.).
11. Accidentally shoot the first shot of the Revolutionary War.
12. Have to go without pizza.
13. Get leprosy.
14. Find out that every generation of humans is dumber than the last and that everyone in the past is smarter than me.
15. Get hanged for believing that the earth goes around the sun.
16. Discover that the earth actually was the center of the universe until just recently.
17. Find out that there is a time travel police when they give me a million dollar fine for time law infringement.
18. Try to reinvent electricity but realize that I know nothing about it.
19. Get squashed by a T-Rex.
20. Become a 3.2 million year old fossil and get displayed in a museum.
21. Be the only English speaker on the planet.
22. Have to wear a toga.
23. Find out that Merlin was real when he turns me into into a newt.
24. Find out that the pyramids were built as landing pads for alien spaceships.
25. Meet the Doctor only to have him leave me behind.

A Spark of Creativity

I had to write a short story for my English class. It turned out quite well, so here it is.

A Post-Preemptive Strike

“Mr. President, something must be done immediately.”

In a small conference room in the White House, the President of the United States of America was meeting with his chief military advisor, the head general of the army. They sat on opposite sides of a table. No one else was in the room and the door was locked.

“You’re right,” said the President. “The day we have dreaded for all these years has finally come. It’s time to activate Project Lincoln.”

“Mr. President, that would only make matters worse. Russia has spies among us, and they will know if we try something. The consequences of a hasty action would be disastrous.”

The President exhaled heavily. “You’re right, but doing nothing could be just as devastating. Just one of those bombs could turn the entire state of California into a crater.”

Suddenly, a ball of light appeared in the front of the room, hovering about three feet above the ground. It grew larger and brighter until it filled the room with light. Then, just as suddenly as it appeared, it vanished, leaving a man in its place.

“Greetings,” said the man. His sudden appearance left the President at a loss for words. Not only was it unexpected, his fashion sense looked like it was from a different time. He wore a leather jacket that was died with orange and green stripes, and he wore mouthwash-blue plastic pants. His hair stuck up in every direction, as if he had been struck by lightning.

“What’s wrong?” he said with a hint of arrogance. “And why are your clothes so drab? No color, no spice – they’re just boring.”

The general recovered enough to say, “Who are you?”

“I come from 100 years into your future. I discovered time travel, and now I’ve come back in time to fix everything.”

“What? Give us your name. Let me see some ID.”

“Tsk tsk. I can’t give you too much information. That could rip a hole in the fabric of space-time. We wouldn’t want that now would we?”

The general walked over to press the panic button to call in the secret service. “Wait a moment general,” said the President. “Let’s hear this man out.” Turning to the intruder, he said, “Assuming that you are who you say you are, how can you prove that you really are from the future?”

The man pulled out something and handed it to the President. “It’s a fifty dollar bill,” observed the President.

“It’s worthless in my time. Look at the date,” said the intruder.

The President studied the bill closely. “It does appear to be from the future.”

“That proves nothing,” said the general. “Anyone could forge a date.” The President handed the bill back to the man.

“Okay then. Turn the TV to channel seven. The lottery numbers will be 57, 22, 39, 84 and 60.”

The general turned on the television and set it to the appropriate channel. “And now it is time for the lottery,” the announcer was saying. “Who will be a winner today? The first number is 57. Now watch the numbers. Studies show that standing on your head and saying, ‘Nahoowalog’ may increase your chances of winning. Try it out! The next number is 22…” He went on to draw the rest of the numbers that the intruder predicted.

The general looked a little unsettled. “That still doesn’t prove that you can travel in time. The lottery can be rigged. Or maybe you’re drugging us with some sort of advanced hallucinogen.”

“Well, I have one last thing to show you. Do either of you have a small palm sized object that I could borrow?” The President handed him a button that had fallen off his shirt earlier that day. “This will work nicely.” He pulled out a small metal disk seemingly from nowhere and he set it on the table. He set the button on it, and then flipped a switch on the side of the disk. A humming sound came from the disk and the button rose several inches into the air. It hovered there, rotating slightly. “Ha ha!” he exclaimed, clearly proud of himself.

The President reached out and grabbed his button from midair and put it back in his pocket. “I’m satisfied. What is your purpose for coming here?” The general shot an accusatory glance at the President.

“I come to stop the devastating war that is about to take place,” said the man “The decision made today is a pivotal moment. It could avert a catastrophe, or cause one.”

“We know that, but what do we do?” said the President.

“Disband Project Lincoln. Just sit this one out. Any offensive action will start a war of mass destruction.”

The President turned to the general. “That’s exactly what I was saying earlier.” The general just grunted.

“The risks of time travel are great. Know that I only came because it is of utmost importance.”

“We will heed your warning.” said the President.

“I must go now. Don’t tell anyone about this. A leak about time travel could be even worse than the war we just avoided.” His body started to glow. It got brighter and brighter as it shrunk into a small ball of light. Then it was gone.

“You don’t actually believe him?” said the general. “He could be a spy trying to deceive us.”

“You’re right. Something just seemed wrong about him. It must be a trap. And besides, how could we ever develop such a terrible fashion sense? Humankind is smarter than that.”

“So it’s decided. We must activate Project Lincoln.”

-

*----- * -----*
-
The time traveler stepped out of his lab and onto the street. He got onto the maglev and rode home. He lived on the moon like most people during his time. It was the only safe place left before he fixed everything.

He got home and plopped onto his bed, satisfied with himself. He just saved the planet! Who else could say that? But something didn’t seem quite right. It was nagging at the back of his mind and keeping him from falling asleep. There was no question that Earth was saved, but his body didn’t believe him.

He went out on his deck and pointed his telescope towards Earth. Surely it would look like it did in the archives before the war – a beautiful disk of blue and green and white, floating in the heavens. A sight that no one had seen for a hundred years would now be his to behold.

He looked into the telescope. Shocked, he pulled away. This couldn’t be happening. Everything should have been fixed! Was it all his fault? Did he doom a world to destruction in trying to save it?

He rose his fist to the sky and yelled, “Nooooooooooo!”

Epic Poem #2

Flight

The flights of eagles, ravens and crows
Take them over the mountains high.
Their paths take them to magical places
Where we can never go, though we try.

Oh, to fly as the Eagles do!
Oh, to forever be free!
This unreachable goal takes our hearts
And tells us who we can be.

The mountains reach unthinkable heights -
A barrier to all mankind.
The horses and bears can't reach their peaks -
Only the birds in the sky.

Oh, to fly as the Eagles do!
Oh, to forever be free!
This unreachable goal takes our hearts
And tells us who we can be.

The humans are stuck here on the ground
Forever looking to the skies.
They always desire to reach new heights,
But they only can through their cries.

Oh, to fly as the Eagles do!
Oh, to forever be free!
This unreachable goal takes our hearts,
Yet it never can be.

Joseph Lawrence