Sunday, May 31, 2009

25 Things I Never Want To Do If Sent Back In Time

1. Meet Genghis Khan.
2. Meet Vlad the Impaler.
3. Send a time-release letter to my friends explaining my absence.
4. Become my own great-great-grandfather.
5. Accidentally kill my great-great-grandfather.
6. Have to live without an iPod.
7. Die before I was born (like PDQ Bach).
8. Get burned at the stake.
9. Lose my glasses.
10. Get made fun of for being too tall (Kind of like Abe Lincoln. Maybe he's a time traveler too.).
11. Accidentally shoot the first shot of the Revolutionary War.
12. Have to go without pizza.
13. Get leprosy.
14. Find out that every generation of humans is dumber than the last and that everyone in the past is smarter than me.
15. Get hanged for believing that the earth goes around the sun.
16. Discover that the earth actually was the center of the universe until just recently.
17. Find out that there is a time travel police when they give me a million dollar fine for time law infringement.
18. Try to reinvent electricity but realize that I know nothing about it.
19. Get squashed by a T-Rex.
20. Become a 3.2 million year old fossil and get displayed in a museum.
21. Be the only English speaker on the planet.
22. Have to wear a toga.
23. Find out that Merlin was real when he turns me into into a newt.
24. Find out that the pyramids were built as landing pads for alien spaceships.
25. Meet the Doctor only to have him leave me behind.

2 comments:

Melinda said...

Very, very funny Joseph.

Caitlin said...

I never want to get sent back in time, so I shouldn't have any problem with this stuff... of course, I have to agree with you about the whole becoming your own great-grandpa thing... that would be pretty lame. So would... like all that stuff. :)